Films based on Books can be very up and down.  And as this is based on a romance novel, I am expecting predictability and plenty of tropes.

Certificate: 15

Director: Roger Kumble

Screenwriter: Anna Todd, Mario Celaya

Starring: Josephine Langford, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Louise Lombard

Genre: Drama, Romance

Runtime: 105 Minutes

Rating: 1.5 Stars

Reviewed by: Pearl

We are still following Hardin and Tessa after the disastrous events of the previous film.  Tessa is pursuing an internship at a publishers and Hardin is…sleeping in his car and getting jealous that Tessa is out dancing with other guys.  After a drunken night together, they find themselves drawn back together and decide to give their relationship another try.  But fate, or Hardin’s atomic temper and an unfortunate car accident, conspire to keep them apart.  Can they over come everything they have gone through to find their happy ending?

Sometimes, a romantic drama is just what I need after a day at work to unwind and watch something fluffy and light and enjoyable and…nope.  This film is none of those things.  It deals with a lot of rough topics, and deals with them pretty violently. 

Hardin is not the kind of bad boy that I am used to seeing in Romantic movies.  He is not a cliché or a brooding kind of rebel.  He is genuinely a troubled guy, someone with real problems, and at least the film does not try and romanticize that.  However, it does seem to be his only defining personality trait.   If you took that trauma away, there would no character left.  He needed something besides that to make him a wholly rounded character.  And as a British person, I do find it incredibly annoying when British characters are written using such a profuse amount of bad language.  Is that really how the rest of the world think we speak?

The sex scenes were…copious and unrealistic and quite frankly, after the third one, totally unnecessary.  I get it they are young and in love and love to have sex…everywhere…all the time.  But anyone who has ever tried to have shower sex, or who has ever tried to take a romantic bath with their significant other, will tell you that nothing about these scenes was in any way accurate.  And I get that a romantic film needs to have one or two sex scenes, but this took it way too far.

The dialogue was pretty awful, all the time.  Gratuitous swearing aside the rest of it was eye-rollingly cheesy or just unbearable to listen to.  On occasions it is clear that the actors hearts just aren’t in this.  There performances become sloppy at times and I feel that Langford and Tiffin lack the chemistry needed to really sell the story.

Most frustratingly, the plot relies on Tessa to continually make terrible choices in life.  Any sensible person would have run a mile.  Absolutely NOT agreed to fake a relationship in front of their ex’s mother and equally not continue to have sex with someone who obviously makes you miserable.

This film made ME miserable.  Everyone in my screen was laughing at the film and there were more than a few mutterings of phrases like “Are you Serious?” and “Come on, Really?”  this one was definitely not a crowd pleaser.  But if you do want to check it out for yourself, ‘After We Collided’ is out in UK cinemas now!